These Days (2002)

these days
I feel like I am stone’s throw
from ground zero
where god got up and buried herself
deep within the crust of the earth
the reflection too bright
from the melting steel and battle fields
of the east river
and I could swim myself to salvation
in television waves
if I only had a radio
two wave
and a hole to climb into
god knows I would give her a holler
and begin to dig myself deep within the crust
that could be the east river

how far would I have to dig?
deep beneath the Brooklyn ferry
where life saw
two brothers fall
and we buried the dead with the heat and the wind
new york’s smell of a perennial funeral
when the weather was warm and the breeze hit you right
mourners coming out of the cracks of a shattered city
from south houston and brooklyn
broadway to the bowery

and I begin to type out my frustration
from being a human who feels a void
for the living

can’t someone just give me an advil and maybe some sleeping pills
and make this pain go away
but it is never that simple
as I writer I look for inspiration
and history has taught me
good writing comes out of bad times
and bad times are dead times
and the dead are lying
in five stories of steel
from the battlefield of brooklyn’s witness
to the caves of tora bora
where caves cliff rocks to heroes and cowards
and a country fed up

war writers are born from the sweat of presidents
and the blood of patriots
as decisions are made for our mothers and fathers
to leave us
to live for country
die for dignity

mothers becoming fathers

I would teach you how to play catch
but my mom taught me how to bake
not pitch
and told me not to marry a man
that married his country
and although I feel proud
I have this loss of self-esteem
knowing mothers become fathers
and children become soldiers
on the front lines of tomorrow
and our brothers become just memories
like a fading manhattan skyline forever changed
seen solely through the eyes of brooklyn.